Understanding and Overcoming
There are multiple pathways that may lead one into homosexuality. Likewise there will be multiple pathways in overcoming homosexuality.
What one does, homosexuality or who one is, a homosexual. The case for the former is much stronger. The truth be told, the former is the truth. If you do not believe me, read what those advocating for homosexuality and those who self-identify as homosexuals write.
Before you answer the questions below I ask that you visit www.banap.net and read the page that opens up. There I write about my struggle with homosexuality, and some key understandings that were very helpful for me in overcoming homosexuality. More importantly there are quotes from those who self-identify as homosexual, they are writing acknowledging their belief that people are not born homosexuals. Therefore it is not who one is, a homosexual but rather it is homosexuality, what one does.
Also before continuing on with answering the questions below I ask that you think about the concepts of ‘change’ and ‘healing’ that are often heard when discussing overcoming homosexuality. Homosexuality, along with many other things is a relationship issue. I want to talk about ‘replacing’ those things that are harmful and unhealthy with things that are more helpful and healthy for us. For in ‘replacing’ there will be ‘change’ and ‘healing’. The latter are not the goals, but the results of ‘replacing’. What need to be replaced are not only the things we do or not do, but also what we believe and perceive about ourselves.
I want to further write some things that I found to be very beneficial in my overcoming homosexuality. Though you may not agree with the following comments, I ask that you be open minded and give them some thought.
I strongly emphasis in my life accepting personal responsibility for not only my acts, but also those things I believe. It was very difficult for me to begin to believe that I was not a “homosexual”, because I was allowing my feelings and emotions to strongly influence me. I struggled with the concepts of ‘healing’ and ‘change’ because implied in them is the idea that it is from “without” that something would come into my struggle with homosexuality and make the difference. It also allowed me to be somewhat passive in overcoming my struggle with homosexuality. Thus it resulted in allowing me to put the burden on this other from “without” for failing to impact my overcoming homosexuality. But as I begin to understand the concept of ‘replacing’, it resulted in me recognizing that I must take a more active role in my overcoming homosexuality. More importantly it gave me greater control, as I took on more responsibility for my overcoming homosexuality, and thereby weakening the power of the brokenness/weakness in my life to lead and rule. The end result in this shift in my belief system was a very strong, powerful optimism and hopefulness that I would be victorious in overcoming homosexuality.
When answering these questions below there are three areas to think about.
1) Actual behavior, those things I do. 2) How I think, which includes my perceptions. 3) My feelings and emotions.
Where am I at now?
How did I get here?
Where do I want to go?
Can I? Yes
Should I? No But . . .
Do I really want to?